Noir - Apocalypse Bunker - "a little bit Bat Cave with a dash of Playboy Mansion"

Got any plans for the upcoming apocalypse on December 21, 2012?

This projected doomsday is based on ancient Mayan prophecy (not disgraced pastor Harold Camping), and San Fernando Valley porn company Pink Visual is wasting no time preparing for it.

The adult film company announced plans to construct a bona fide bomb shelter to protect "the Pink Visual staff and members of our immediate families," as well as performers, business partners, and fans.

Complete with a full production studio (as well as a fully-stocked bar, microbrewery and performance stage), the bunker is being built to ensure that Pink Visual will continue to create quality adult entertainment throughout the end of days and beyond. RT describes the bunker as "a little bit Bat Cave with a dash of Playboy Mansion" -- and of course, it'll all be as glamorous and luxurious as a bomb shelter can be.

San Fernando Valley-based porn studio Pink Visual said the bunker is envisioned as “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave”, complete with a digital studio, gun racks and a rotating hydraulic stage.

LOS ANGELES (CBS) — A San Fernando Valley adult entertainment studio began construction this month on what it calls a “post-apocalyptic” underground bunker in anticipation of a global catastrophe rumored to take place in late 2012.


A spokesman for Van Nuys-based Pink Visual said the bunker will be “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave” with amenities such as multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and a sophisticated content production studio.


“Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury,” said Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, “whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above.”


The studio’s website will also be maintained and updated throughout any potential disaster “even if those websites are only available on the bunker’s self-contained local network by that time,” Boyer added.


He declined to give the exact location of the bunker over “security concerns”.


The studio is currently working out details on the selection criteria for all non-Pink Visual personnel who they will allow to take refuge in the bunker, but Boyer said it will “likely include both merit-based and random selections, with Pink Visual performers, active site members and Twitter followers getting priority over the general public.”


Although no set number was provided, LA Weekly reported anywhere from 1,200 to 1,500 people will be allowed into the bunker by its planned completion date of September 2012.